"Ladies and gentlefolk of all extractions, persuasions, afflictions and aspirations. Life is long and full of woe. Each twist and turn in the tangled web of life harbours the potential for disaster and calamity for body and soul. So you may ask yourself: why be unprepared!? Wouldn’t life be just a little easier, a little more uplifted, a little more enlightened with just a tiny piece of the legacy of the heroes, saints, prophets and visionaries of days gone by?! Pilson’s Precious Pious Parts has the solution, my friends. For just ten easy payments of twenty-nine-ninety-five, you too can own a nugget of sacred anatomy from the reliquary of time! Why Pilson’s is the proverbial Amazon dot com of religious relics."

We got the Shaven Pate of Alexander the Great
The Shoulder Blade of the Marquis de Sade
The Chamber Pot of Lancelot
We got some body fluids from a grove of druids

Every bit has biography
history and hagiography
What better way to learn about anatomy?
Special rates for schools and teachers

CHORUS
Pilson’s Precious Pious Parts
Purveyor of the relic arts
Sanctify your shopping cart
And brighten up your home

We got the Mandible of Hannibal
The gilded brain of Cuchulainn
A jar of pus from Odysseus
Some chilled chilblains from Sir Gawain

Find a little peace of mind
With a piece of someone divine’s behind
Everything is genuine
Blessings guaranteed

CHORUS

(TODD’s SECTION)

......
...... Cleopatra
..... Leper
.. left nipple ....

Be the strongest and the fastest
With the spleen of John the Baptist
Lighten up your every step
With the tip of the tongue of Amenhotep

CHORUS

We got the uterus mighty of the mighty Aphrodite
A brace of knees from the Valkyries
The bottled karma of Bodhidharma
Tuberosities of Heracles

Things from gods and deities
Everything to satisfy the laity
Mythic bits you’d pay to see
Why rent when you can own?

CHORUS

We got the Anus of Aenus, the Retina of Smetna
Adrenal glands of Hanuman
We got the heel of Achilles, it gives me the Willies
And the Peter… of St. Peter

Decorate your domicile
With an organ in a vial
Pickled bits to make you smile
Now with childproof lids

CHORUS